I don't want to forget.
When I started dating my husband, I quickly learned that he has a much better memory than I do. Never mind that I remember strange details from our first date; by and large, he recalls far more of our conversations and experiences than I do.
I don't like forgetting. It makes me feel like I've lost something - a memory that I could have treasured and referenced in a future moment - an idea that I won't be able to get back - an insight I wanted to discuss, but now will never have the chance.
In this case, a friend asked that we read a book and then discuss it when we finish. I don't know where she is in the work, but there's so much in this book that I want to talk to her about, and I fear all memory of striking insights will fade to a generic gray cloud before we have the chance to sit down together and talk.
I finished "With All Her Mind: A call to the Intellectual Life", edited by Rachel Bulman, and I want this feeling of life I have to remain with me - not just until I talk about it with my galpal, but to stay and encourage me as I work on developing my intellectual life.
So, I'm writing notes and some of the quotations that struck me. I'm starting with the final essay and moving backwards because I have the most recent and extensive memories of these last pages than I do of the first, which I read in the winter of the previous year.
EDIT: I realized a few years late that my extensive quoting in this post probably violates copyright infringement, so I took out the quotes. My apologies, readers.
16. "The Mind of Writing" by Tsh Oxenrider
This essay was mainly about writing. Not surprisingly, it made me want to write. It doesn't have to be big, but I think she's right when she says that writing can help clarify thinking. I have often made excuses for not writing, but now that the urge is upon me, I think I will stay up a few more minutes to make a decent start on this section. I like her idea of a florilegium - I've already been doing something like that for a while, and the dedication to this crystalized during my auditing of humanities courses through Newman.
She talked about writing in a way that made it feel approachable. Some women will, and SHOULD, write epic adventures that others need - that the world needs. Other women will write for themselves, or for their families. It doesn't seem so bad to me if one of these two latter options is all that happens for me. Yes, I've had closet desires for worldwide fame as a novelist for a long time, but perhaps the hidden writing of an unknown wife and mother is what I need and what God calls me to.
I like Tsh's writing style. "quote" . I loved how she worked in the idea of woman as creator - not making it her main thesis, but incorporating it so that the idea grew, as it were, and came to its culmination at the end.
"Long quote."
For some reason, this seems like the right essay to end this collection with. Not only does it tie in the idea of giving birth, it suggests a practice that is practical and likely achievable because it is something that can be done in the space of a few minutes or many. It suggests something that I'm already starting to do tonight.
"Quote."
The more I write down quotes and reflect on her ideas, the more I find my thoughts are spurred on to further development. I think writing is important for me to do so that I don't just become a consumer of products. I love taking in knowledge and stories and literary criticism but I hardly remember any of it. If I were to sit down and write regularly...and, specifically, type, so that my writing can keep better pace with my thoughts...I think I would find myself recalling works better. I think I would engage with them better, gnaw sustenance out of their bones with a bit more success.
I think I need to write.
I don't think this is the sort of "needing to write" that Jo March or Emily of New Moon had. This isn't the sort of "I need to express myself in this creative outlet or else I'll go mad." This is the sort of "I need to write" that says, quietly, "I need to write because I think it helps make me a little more whole...". I want to try out writing more frequently.
15. "The Feminine Intellect and Acadamia" by Holly Ordway
I'm approaching writing of my thoughts for this essay with a lot less mental and physical energy than the last one. In her essay, an author I admire writes candidly about the realities and real challenges of pursuing a life in academia. I'm glad that I never seriously pursued a career as a college professor, although part of me still thinks it would be cool and sometimes fun. I can recognize I mainly want to share in the intellectual tradition, however, and soak it in - not necessarily do the work involved, at least right now.
I'm blessed insofar as I have a woman in my family who is a college professor, so I've had an insider's view of the difficulties of academia as a professor, and specifically as a female professor. I had taken her work in academia for granted, seeing it as just the job that she had, but this essay helps me appreciate a little bit more how challenging this career has probably been for her.
I feel good about my current life path - I think this essay was supposed to help with that, in one sense - but Ordway makes a point of saying that earning a PhD and working as a professor is not the only path that allows one to participate in academia. I may not go so far as to pursue a master's degree, research, and write and present papers like she suggests, but I like to think I can participate in "lower-case academia" in small ways through the life I'm living - building a community of thinking with the women in my life, participating in small ways in various offered activities at my alma mater, and by continuing to read and - hopefully - write.
There was only one quote I took note of from this essay, but it spurred some reflection for me.
"Quote."
I know I've talked about this practice with other people before, and I probably didn't find much wrong with it when I did. After all, it's probably better to avoid temptation if that's a concern, I thought.
It wasn't until I read these few lines that my eyes were opened to how unjust this practice can be. It lets fear of sin lessen the charity we can show to others. Women might literally be missing out on making advancements in their careers because they don't have the opportunity to hobnob with the men like men do. I think their is wisdom in avoiding one-on-one interactions if there is actual danger of an affair breaking out, but I now think it's unfair to apply the rule generally. I'd like to talk to more people about this phenomenon and hear what others think.
14. "Pursuit in the Drudgery" by Leah Libresco Sargeant
I'm already having to skim essays to remember what they were about and see if any of the lines stick out to me. Nothing really did until the last page and half or so; the rest of the article felt like it was setting the stage for the final reflections. In summary, the author discusses work that is "drudgery" and what it can do for us spiritually.
I liked that the author talked about Maria Montessori, a woman and writer I've heard about over the years and longed to read, but haven't made the time for yet.
"Quote."
I think this woman knew a thing or two and I want to read about what those things are.
This next quote would be good to just sit with and reflect on for a while.
"Quote."
The author of this article reminds me that my whole life can be offered to God, and the mundane chores I complete could be a key way of entering into that continuous prayer.
"Quote."
13. "The School of Leisure" by Jennifer Frey
This article revisits ideas found in Josef Pieper's "Leisure: The Basis of Culture", but then specifically argues that we should take Mary as our model of leisure/contemplation and, further, that women should spend leisure time in study.
"Quote."
This is the kind of study she's talking about, not the useful studying that results in grades or acquiring a specific, useful skill for a certain purpose. And this is the connection Frey makes between contemplative study and prayer:
"Quote."
I like the author's connection between children, who are free from the adult understanding of work, their "leisure" to be bored, and how that freedom allows them to marvel at the world around them. I remember feeling wowed by different things before, and even now finding delight in how delighted little toddlers are at inspecting new things. It makes me yearn for a little more space in my head to let such things happen. "Workism forgets that our highest goal and purpose is nothing more or less than rest in the divine life." (p. 96) I think children are much closer to that resting in the divine life than I am; no wonder Jesus loves the children so much!
I'm ending this reflection with a quote that I thought was a little spicy. I like it!
"Quote."
12. "The Joy of Thinking" by Emily Stimpson Chapman
This woman's story spoke to me and my own experience - I wasn't quite at the level of overachieving that she was, but I recognize in myself some of the drive that she had to excel at everything.
"Quote."
I think this line is spot-on. There's always something new to learn about Catholicism, but more importantly - and excitingly - there's always some way to grow spiritually.
I think this was the essay where I put the book down to look at my husband and say something along the lines of, "I'm glad I never lost my love of reading." I remember hearing from several people that they didn't like to read anymore - or at least for a long time - because of all the reading they had to do in college for classes. That always saddened me, but this author shows why this is something that can happen.
"Quote." That's a nice bit of writing write there, too.
Finally, I liked the three takeaways she leaves for readers. "Quote." This line summarizes three beautifully fleshed-out paragraphs on page 87.
11. "The Vocation to Transformation" by Amanda Achtman
This essay reminded me of the delight of loving to learn. It is part hunger and part anticipation and part joy at having encountered something new. This essay was more experience than exposition. It was interesting to have such a different feel from the majority of the other essays, which followed a more conventional essay style. I guess Achtman's essay was a little bit different than usual, like what I found GK Chesterton's essays to be.
Now I want to read some solid Chestertonian essays. I also want to find out what delightful works of Polish literature I've been missing out on. She talked about Poland, and I keep hearing and reading about how incredible Poland is. I figure a country with such a strong Catholic culture HAS to have some fantastic literature.
Anyway, all Google searches aside, I had just one takeaway quote from this essay.
"Quote."
10. "Benedictine Spirituality and the Mysteries of God" by Elizabeth Scalia
I liked that this essay has me rethinking my adoration hour. I'd pulled away from journaling because it felt like it was too much of me talking, not enough listening. She talked about how writing during lectio divina really helped her out. I think going back to writing during prayer could be a good thing.
I liked that this essay did a good job of making real the connection between daily mundane work and our prayer life. I like especially that last part of the quote here:
"Quote."
And, with the author spending time talking about Benedictine spirituality and hospitality, she's got me thinking yet again of how I need to dive into Benedict's Rule - which I recently rediscovered in one of my boxes of books.
9. "Marriage, Motherhood, and the Mind" by Stephanie Gray Connors
I didn't feel like I got too much from this essay, but she had some food for thought. "Quote." I like what she says here; I totally believe she's right; but I also hate opposition. That is something I know I ought to work on and yet definitely don't want to work on. Maybe one of these days I'll pull up a podcast by someone who has very different views from me, but it's not happening today.
8. "An Integrated Mind and Heart" by Sr. Theresa Aletheia Noble
This article focused on integration of the person - living out our lives not with soul and mind and heart separated, but integrated into each other. This is especially important for our spiritual lives.
This was another essay that mainly provided some food for thought. Noble spent a good amount of time explaining that women only recently have had their intellects taken seriously. I remember that during my first reading of this essay, some of her statements on this topic created a resistance in me. I have often scorned the insistent voices of feminism that have said there's so much progress left to be made - that has not been my experience, I've argued internally. I have always felt respected and like my ideas have been taken seriously. I haven't felt the effects of sexism in work or school. I suppose I'm one of the very few fortunate in that sense.
But, skimming these pages again has made me more accepting of Noble's observations. I do think it IS true that "Quote." Of course, I might find myself agreeing with this statement because I read it recently. I notice that I struggle to not take on the viewpoint of whatever voice I'm reading.
I wonder what a more widespread female participation in the Church's intellectual life would look like. I imagine that God will call the saints that are needed for every age, and some saints are going to be intellectual women. I wonder what my role in this might be. It certainly can't be to develop my intellect for my own sake. I pray that God will show me how to share my gifts and mind with others as my life continues.
7. "Becoming a Bibliophile" by Haley Stewart
Well done, Haley Stewart. Well done. I liked this essay and I think she wrote it well. Even though some of the ideas she shared weren't new to me, I loved hearing her voice come through her writing.
I want to develop voice. That would be really cool. I loved her starting with and returning to the idea that our lives - and our intellectual lives - are relational. This has been my experience with getting some sort of handle on most of the classics I've read. I'll just leave a bunch of quotes here.
"Quote."
"Quote."
I like this paragraph because it confirms me in my decision to try to read less fluff fiction this year and more substance. I probably made that decision after reading this essay, but I'm not sure about timing. It reminds me of a "Read Aloud Revival" podcast episode or two in which the hostess talks about using a bingo-style card with different genres to get kids to read a variety of books over the summer. I like that idea a lot.
"Quote." (pg. 51)
And finally, I love the flavor of this quote.
"Quote."
This part also makes me feel good about having several quasi-book clubs that I participate in. I do find discussing books and ideas to be very life-giving. I pray I only grow my gratitude for chances to talk to bookish friends.
6. "Intellectual Life, From Theory to Practice" by Jackie Francois Angel
"Quote."
Learning only for my own satisfaction is a major pitfall I see in myself. I desire to pursue the intellectual life with more humility and generosity.
5. "Holy Boldness and the Feminine Mind" by Rachel Harkins Ullmann
This one was good for opening my eyes to the uphill battles women still must fight in our society today. Juggling work and raising kids is a discussion my husband and I have already had multiple times, even now, before we have children. There's a lot to navigate - the world needs skilled workers and SLPs like me, but children need mothers, too. How does one find a balance?
The author's description of single, working Catholic women resonated with me as well. I have often felt like I didn't really have a "home" in my parish because I wasn't married and established with kids, but had long since aged out of the youth group. Single working women really do want to be welcomed and taken seriously in their communities. I think Ullmann is correct in bringing up the idea that women are going to have to be leaders in making this happen. If we don't advocate for ourselves, will there any change?
4. "Saints and the Intellect" by Meg Hunter-Kilmer
I super skimmed this one; I think I remember being both troubled and fascinated by Hunter-Kilmer's descriptions of St. Edith Stein and Bl. Concepcion Cabrera de Armida. Bl. Concepcion was especially fascinating to me as a married woman and a mystic, who by loving God better (and experiencing a mystical marriage to Jesus!), learned to love her husband more. "There was no conflict between her love of God and her love of Pancho." (p. 25)
I'm looking forward to reading more about St. Edith Stein - I snuck a few books about/by her from my sister's shelf recently, likely because she's been mentioned multiple times throughout this book. It would be good to get a saint book in my reading diet sometime this year, and maybe St. Edith Stein will be the subject.
"Quote."
This passage makes me feel like great things can be achieved in my intellectual formation. I am encouraged.
3. "Healing and Knowing the Truth" by Sr. Miriam James Heidland
This is an essay that's good to revisit after having read later-placed essays. I often hear about Sr. Miriam in the context of healing in the Catholic podcasts I listen to, but her words help really make sense of the "fragmentation" and "integration" that other essayists spoke about. Simply put, it is one thing to know about God in our heads, and another to experience Him in our hearts. We may know God loves us in our heads, but not know it in our hearts. That must be part of the "feminine genius" that all these lovely authoresses have been talking about.
What is "feminine genius", anyway? I think that what all these women have been trying to say is that it is "that essence which only a woman can contribute". We can try to define that essence - creativity, integration - or leave it as the ethereal, nebulous term and all that it implies. But I think that's kind of what people are driving at. Maybe there isn't some concrete definition for it. I wonder. But not enough to pick up JPII's "Letter to Women" that everyone has been quoting.
2. "The Virtues and the Intellectual Life" by Susanna Spencer
This was another super-skimmed essay. But then I got into it more because I'd taken notes of passages that struck me. This was a great early essay because it describes the foundation necessary for developing one's intellectual life - and that foundation is virtue. What she says absolutely makes sense; we need temperance and prudence, as well as other virtues, if we're going to be consistent and commit to developing our intellects. She made understanding virtues and vices in the light of the intellectual life very simple to comprehend. Virtue is a firm and habitual disposition to do the good; firm and habitual dispositions to do the work involved with expanding the intellect is necessary if it's going to happen at all.
"There are not specifically masculine or feminine virtues" - thank you for saying that! I think I've run into people who argued to the contrary and that has definitely rubbed me the wrong way! - "Quote." (p. 9)
"Quote."
"Quote."
"Quote."
1. "Foundations of the Intellectual Life" by Sr. Josephine Garrett
This is the essay to start a book like this with. In it's simplest summarization, love of God is the foundation of the intellectual life; we learn to love God by making space in our lives for silence to hear God; by praying to (conversing with) God; and by desiring (I skimmed; desiring to learn what God wants to teach us, I'm guessing).
"Quote."
Overall Thoughts
Great book; highly recommend to Catholic women.
I have been frustrated in the past with conferences, talks, and materials aimed specifically at Catholic women. This is one of the first major works I've encountered that didn't make me feel like someone was pandering to me or writing off the rigor of the Catholic intellectual tradition in favor of feel-good messages like "Give yourself grace" and "find God in your everyday tasks". I wanted the richness and fullness of the intellectual depth of our faith, and this book encourages women to get to it. I don't know if I'm up to the task, but I'm looking forward to seeing where God leads me.
