Deep Dive: For the Love of Mary

 A Deep Dive into For the Love of Mary

It's been a while since I've completed a deep dive post - it looks like the last one was in October, for The Screwtape Letters. So, what was it about this book that has me making a separate post that focuses on it? It is because it is the best book about Mary that I've read in a long time, and it is helping renew my devotion to Our Lady. It is well worth taking some time to write more extensively about this book, not only to help me remember what I like about it, but also to share with others why I think they should read it, too.

Dedication

We own a one-of-a-kind edition: this book has a special dedication that the author inscribed and personally addressed to my sister. It's so cool to think of the fact that my sister knows this friar who has published a beautiful book about Mary. The best part of the dedication is the post-script: "hope you can be a fellow TOR one day! Prayers & blessings".

Chapter 1: What's in a Name?

This may be my favorite chapter. Fr. Daniel talks about how the names we use when we talk about and to Mary matter. He points out that the people who have the strongest relationship with Mary tend to call her "Mother Mary," not just "Mary." I know that I would feel self-conscious about calling Our Lady "Mother Mary" if I were just to casually use that terminology in conversation, like I was making myself out to be overly pious. But, this chapter made me want to have the sort of relationship with Mary where calling her "mother" in conversation would feel natural. I'm going to make an effort to do so, at least in writing, at different points in this post. Take a look at this quote:

"Would you ever call your mother by her first name? No, of course not. That would seem distant, informal, and strange - a bit too avant-garde, to be sure! instead, you would use terms of endearment and familiarity." - pp. 5-6

This chapter also shows from the get-go that this author absolutely loves our Heavenly mother. It is neat to see the depth and range of his research, referencing modern Marian apparitions, the meaning of names, and, in later chapters, various saints who have cherished a great love for Our Lady.

Chapter 2: A Rose of Wondrous Beauty

This chapter challenged me. It made me realize that I don't pray or sacrifice enough for the end of abortion, a reflection prompted by an incredible personal story Fr. Daniel-Maria shares from his own life about how a beautiful baby girl was saved from abortion by prayer for Mother Mary's intercession. One of the great things about this book was that I felt I learned so much about Mother Mary and devotion to her. Notice, this sentiment is coming from a cradle Catholic, who has read numerous books about this amazing woman, and feels pretty good about her understanding of Marian doctrine. I found it incredible that I was learning so much, even about the Rosary, which I try to pray daily. I have tried to engage more with the mysteries of the Rosary as I pray since reading this book, and I'm realizing it would be good for me to revisit this chapter in particular now and then.

Chapter 3: Practicing the Presence of Mary

This chapter encouraged me to just spend time talking to Mary during the day. I've tried to practice the presence of God, but I usually remember to do it only for a time. I have noticed this being the case here, too, with me making comments to Mother Mary a few times for a few days, and then forgetting to after that. However, this practice could help me combat the sense that I don't know her well enough to call her "mother" in conversation. I have turned to her at night several times, and asked for her assistance in a more spontaneous manner. Now, I've talked in the last few paragraphs about concrete actions I've taken as a result of reading this book. Let that first of all be a testimony to how good this book is - I'm usually happy if there's just one discreet way I can tell a book has caused me to change something I do for the better. However, this book isn't just about practical practices readers can do. There's good theological explanation, too, and that comes out a lot in this chapter.

Chapter 4: Why Does Our Mother Weep?

This chapter spends some time reflecting on Our Lady of Sorrows. I admit that I've not spent much time reflecting upon our Lady of Sorrows because of her closeness to Jesus and His suffering - but we are all called to embrace crucified love. It is another challenge to me to lean into the call of my faith, that if I want to follow Christ, I must take up my cross and follow Him.

Chapter 5: The Stigmata of Mary?

Alright, this chapter blew my mind. How had I never before heard of the possibility that Mary received the stigmata? I'm not going to spend time explaining the reasoning behind why some people believe this, but I thought Fr. Daniel-Maria did a great job making his case. 

 

Chapter 6: Hearing Her Voice, Consoling Her Heart

This chapter focuses on the Marian apparitions at Fatima, and it makes me want to read more about them. I was reminded to offer up prayers and sacrifices to make reparation for sins - for the sins of others, and for my own. I read at least some of this chapter in the adoration chapel, and it was a great time and place to read it. This chapter had a passage that became a favorite for both me and my husband. It provided me with an encouraging reflection about marriage, and it helped me see my marriage in a new light - me being faithful to my husband, and working to overcome temptations and love him, is perhaps a way for me to practice working to overcome temptations for love of my Lord. Also included in this chapter was a line that gave me pause: 

"What we spend most of our time in front of becomes our tabernacle, what we worship." - p. 126

If that doesn't make me want to be better about making it to adoration and a daily Mass regularly, I don't know what will! I am also challenged to be better about fasting, whether physically from food or from time on Facebook. I don't have to wait for Lent to work on these things.

Chapter 7: Warrior Queen

This was the chapter that talked about Mother Mary's power against the demons. It was incredible to read some parts of it and feel confident in turning to her to assistance in spiritual warfare, and also unnerving to read some accounts of exorcists or people who had been possessed. I skimmed or skipped some paragraphs here and there.

Chapter 8: Sacred Inheritance

This chapter tackles the question of going to Mother Mary vs. Jesus right at the start, and Fr. Daniel-Maria handles it well. In summary, we ought to talk to our Mother - and God's Mother - because it pleases him. I can't recall having struggled with connecting with Mother Mary because I've compared myself to her, but it was a topic covered later in the chapter. Again, I felt convicted about a shortcoming that I have. I need to be better about loving Mary and teaching others to love her, too. I learned that loving Mother Mary isn't just one flavor of spirituality that Catholics can have, on par with an Ignatian spirituality or a Franciscan one; no, Mother Mary is given an honor above any saint, and it is important to have a devotion to her. A relationship with her is special.

Conclusion

To finish up, this was a great book. I told a galpal I wanted to loan this book out to her while I was in the middle of reading it...but I wouldn't pass it on to her until I finished it myself! I can tell a book is good when I'm recommending it to others. I know it's good when I know I'd like to reread it someday. And it proves it's special when it draws me in so much that I take time to reflect on it in a special blog post. This book has accomplished all these things. I don't know if it will be the best book I'll read in 2025, but I have a feeling it's going to be a strong contender.