Trimming Down a To-Read List

Reflecting on Crossing Out Titles - Without Having Read Them

A few months ago, I made a big road trip with a good chunk of my family. We were on the road over the span of two days, and the nieces and nephews had a constant rotation in and out of the seat next to me on the way. There were very few moments that I had to myself outside using the bathroom, but I managed to find enough quiet time here and there to tackle a Very Big Project.

A Very Big Project

Very Big Projects are usually endeavors that will take many hours of work to complete and often land on my summer to-do (or "want to accomplish") list. However, this one took just a few to complete - although it required lots and lots of whiteout. During this trip, I took my to-read list to task and pared it down.

What made this task a Very Big Project was the fact that it required me to research and decide what I was taking out. Much like a closet that is overflowing with clothes that one doesn't wear, the list had grown overfull and was increasingly hard to manage. There were too many items on the list, so I lost track of which books I really wanted to read, and which ones had ended up there just because I'd come across a title that sounded mildly interesting. A cleaning-out was long overdue.

Process

I went through the list and, title by title, looked up each work on the Internet. Did the premise still sound interesting? If so, it stayed. If the book didn't actually sound great, or had elements that I figured would be too trying for me, I could say goodbye to it. Cross it off! White it out! I removed a few duplicates and also crossed off any titles that I already owned. For example, I recently came across Reader Come Home by Maryanne Wolfe, which is a book I wanted to make sure I read this summer for its relevance to my work in a school. When I purchased the book (at a weekly library book sale in Nebraska), I crossed it off my list. 

I also took a look at how it was organized. The headings under which I organized the works are: Children's, Theology, Saints & Personal Witness, Academic & Nonfiction, Fiction, Christmas, Poetry, Picture Books, and a few sections at the end that aren't quite books - Movie Recommendations and Finding Book Recommendations. I decided that Academic & Nonfiction was too big a category - rather, the books I am most interested in reading first were lost in the section. I moved over 20 titles to a new section, entitled "Writing & Reading". This helps me by keeping high-interest titles (about reading about reading, and the creative life vis a vis writing) in a location that's easier for me to find.

The Result

I'm glad I went to the trouble of doing this. My to-read list is still pretty overwhelming - enough so that I'm not going to count how many titles are on it. However, it is less of a beast to flip through when I'm considering what I'd like to read next. There are more white lines thanks to whiting out the crossed-off titles, which is a huge aid visually and gives me a sense of accomplishment, whether I've earned it or not.

It was a relief to cross off a good number of titles that I realized I really didn't want to read. They may have been recommended on a trusted Facebook group or initially caught my attention, but taking the time to look into these books has definitely shed light on the fact that I don't want to make time for some books after all.

I also have tried books by several Newbery-Award-winning authors during the last year, and come to realize that the writing style of some of them just isn't for me. Since I didn't enjoy The Secret Confessions of Charlotte Doyle and Crispin by Avi, I knew that I could remove any of his other works from consideration. The same goes for Katherine Rundell and Kate DiCamillo, although I'll probably still try to read or listen to The Tale of Despereaux sometime soon since I told my nephew I'd try to read it. I'm not saying I've sworn off them forever, but I get to give myself some space from them for now.

Another effect of clearing the lists is that I was able to investigate where I might find some of these books when I do decide I want to read them. Is it a popular paperback that might be at the library? Is it an old classic that might be available for free through Audible's rotation sometime, or so old that hardcopy is my only likely source? Maybe it's public domain or close to being so. That last reality helped me decide to finally try Mother Mary Loyola's allegory for children, The King of the Golden City. I found it on Librivox because my research revealed it was in the public domain, and while it wasn't my favorite, I now know it and have since crossed it off my list.

Resolutions for the Future

I think clearing house in the to-read list would be a good thing to do on a yearly basis. I probably won't need to research every title every year, which could make this a faster project in the future. I think I would also benefit from making a rule for myself as I constantly work the system with Audible. If I find a title is available for free on Audible and I don't make the time to listen to it before my subscription runs out, I should remove it from the physical to-read list, or at least seriously consider if it still warrants a place on it. There are seven titles I discovered are on both my list and Audible's available content rotation at this time. I have just over two weeks before I have to cancel, and I have a feeling that I won't make it to some of those books - and that needs to be okay with me.

My husband and I also had a discussion while we were out of town this week. I told him that I tore through most of a young adult novel during the course of a day, but I hadn't really enjoyed it. Sure, it picked up towards the end, but for most of the book, I hadn't enjoyed the characters, hadn't been engrossed in the setting or the excitement of what was happening, and found it to be a middling example of its genre. We talked about how I'm way more okay with putting down books now than I used to be. I'm not scared to show up to book club and reveal that I've failed, yet again, to get past chapter one of the monthly pick because I knew it would have content that would not sit well with me. However, I told him that I think I need to be even more discerning. If a book is tolerable, but I'm not really enjoying it, is that a good enough reason for me to plow through it until the end? If not, what is the point at which I decide it's not worth continuing? Do I have to notice I'm not loving it, or check in with myself a third of the way into the book each time? And when do I decide I should keep reading, even if I don't necessarily enjoy it? This may require further reflection from me.

One last resolution regards the amount of time I spend reading, or, at the very least, the attitude I have towards it. I love reading and regard it as one of my favorite, most consistent, and most enduring pastimes. However, I also believe I'm too attached to it. I typically am able to fulfill my duties without reading interfering, but I sometimes work more slowly if I have an audiobook going. I may neglect activities I ought to do or lose time sleeping if I'm enjoying a book too much. There are handcrafts and projects I want to complete - sometimes for others - that I still haven't finished a year later because so much time goes towards reading. Finally, I feel I let the fact that I'm reading about God give me an inflated sense of really knowing and being in relation with Him. I think reading is sometimes a hindrance to me living the life I'm meant to live. I want to be fully engaged in what I'm doing, and complete projects for love of others without needing to have a story going. This might mean taking a longer break from Audible sometime or choosing to work with no headphones on. It might mean taking to prayer my desire to read or consciously choosing to close my book and put it away so I can connect more fully. Every love can become disordered, and I am slowly starting to realize what this can look like with reading.

My immediate action item is to make sure I put in a lot of work on my husband's t-shirt quilt this next week and to make it a priority over reading.

Ending on a Positive Note

I couldn't just leave off with "I need to read less!", so I'll conclude with saying I think that reflecting on the process of paring down the to-read list has helped clarify a few things for me. This writing exercise is a great example of how writing can help me organize my thoughts, reflect, and either supplement nascent thoughts or come up with new ideas about topics that are important to me.